My son, you lost your battle to addiction on Overdose Awareness Day 08/31/2024. You had 111 days in recovery before this and you were moving forward and making incredible progress. Even passed your peer support certification test with an astonishing 50/50! You would have been such an inspiration to those struggling! You had such an incredible testimony. You were smiling, laughing, and so full of life. It was the best time I ever got to spend with you! I will cherish those 111 days for the rest of my life. I got to know my son, I got to spend time with you, we had deep conversations, we were thriving in our relationship! You were texting or calling me daily. I just can’t make sense of what happened that triggered you to go back to that life. You went back to the group home that you had been successful at and you text me telling me “I am embarrassed”. I tried to encourage you that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. You were only there 2 days and on 08/29/24 you left the group home. I continued to text you but you never responded. It was breaking my heart. I text you everyday asking if you were ok. But unfortunately you were not. On 09/03/24 I got a knock on the door from the detectives telling me they found you on 08/31/2024 already deceased. You had wandered into a parking garage up to the 4th floor on 08/30/24 at 9:39pm where you were seen fidgeting and moving around until about 2:00pm on 08/31/24 when you ceased moving altogether. You were found at 3:49pm. I had texted you that same day at 3:54pm telling you it was terribly hot and how worried I was for you asking you to please tell me you were ok. But you were already gone. I am left with all these questions son. Why did you go off to be alone? Did you do this intentionally? Did you really just give up and leave us all here? Was the pain that severe? I will never know the reasons you were all alone. You didn’t deserve to die in that manner. You were so loved and so cherished! I know you had suffered as a child and struggled with the trauma you had endured. I am so sorry that I couldn’t save you son. I never ever wanted this for you. I will struggle the rest of my life in pain over your passing. I will likely never be able to forgive myself either. I don’t know that I will ever accept this. The only thing I can accept is knowing you are no longer in pain, no longer suffering, no longer living with guilt and shame. Rest easy my Beavis. You will always live within your mama. Ride it like you stole it honey! You are forever free to go wherever your heart desires. Until we meet again baby! Please know you are forever in my heart.